tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-72321152079858518072011-10-12T13:41:07.789+08:00u noenoreply@blogger.comBlogger31100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7232115207985851807.post-81259927111068008862007-12-17T00:26:00.000+08:002007-12-17T00:32:43.448+08:00Now dddddaaaaammmmmnnnnn angry & down... not gonna to talk to somebody... 'Wth'? ok lor wth wth lor... shuan le... anyway my heart is hurting... difficult to breathe... shall end here ba... too angry & down to think & write abt it...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7232115207985851807-8125992711106800886?l=true-self-unknown-to-others.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>u noenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7232115207985851807.post-60879549457949411172007-09-21T22:06:00.000+08:002007-09-21T22:34:11.644+08:00Family is a weird thing... Always a word mentioned by parents, yet u doesn't feel like 1 @ all... Basically for me, my family is living in their own world while i live in mine... Always say we're a family &amp; we should care for 1 another, i feel all tis is jus words, rubbish, a pathetic relationship or watever u call it...<br /><br />"Family" wat a lovely word it sounds, yet a word i hate to the core!!! Never once they understand u even u live wif them for such a long time... Always say i need to open up &amp; talk to them abt my feelings &amp; all (after such a long time living together?), i think it's pathetic... Since they dun understand me @ all after such a long time, then wat is the point of telling? Since they dun understand then let it be... I'm thru, sick &amp; tired living in tis kind of family... From today on, i'll live in my own world (though prefer to spend it wif someone)...<br /><br />Now, i feel sad (cried many times b4). But after tis, i no longer feel anything... Too sick &amp; tired of it... Feel much happier when i listen to nice songs... Mood &amp; Feeling would probably be low tis few days/weeks... Maybe even expressionless...<br /><br />Family:<br />-a nice thing to haf if there's understanding between each other...<br />-a sad thing to be heard when there's no understanding...<br /><br />I'll end here, rite now no mood &amp; feeling to continue le...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7232115207985851807-6087954945794941117?l=true-self-unknown-to-others.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>u noenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7232115207985851807.post-8120519505207688312007-09-16T18:38:00.000+08:002007-09-16T20:36:16.626+08:00Hi everyone who manage to get here into tis blog. U're 1 of the few who's lucky or unlucky enough to noe my true self tat none or at least only 1 has ever known abt the true me...<br /><br />For those who read tis & feel scared, shock, pity or even doesn't wanna befriend me anymore, it's a pity (as u can't accept who i am) & fine (as I'm who i am) wif me.<br /><br />For those who read tis & feel glad & wanna continue to be my friend... then welcomed...<br /><br />1st let me tell u abt tis blog i haf, basically tis blog would be abt my life tat's unknown to others, unrecognised by family & some of my feelings tat i haf kept so long in my heart... I think it's time to release some of these feelings after such a long time...<br /><br />I've been in a confuse state from young til now but only to noe who i actually am til not long ago... Ever since young, in kindergardens, I've been acting weird towards other male kids... I shall not elaborate on the thing i did... @ tat time it's been a tingling feeling within me, like y am i doing these actions & wat am i suppose to do... Even though it's very young when these things happened but i still rmb it clearly in my mind...<br /><br />In primary school, i seemed to haf vaguely forgotten abt it & began to develop feelings (i think) towards a gal during P1... But to me, it's like y did a friend not come to school today, but when i questioned my mum, she goes u like tat gal ah if not y kept asking when she doesn't turn up for school... After P1, i never did saw her again... Most probably she had transferred to another school... She was the 1st person who's been nice to me & take care of me when i was 1st transferred into the school during June due to moving of hse... Ever since then, I've been here in the estate til now... Known lots of friends there & even liked a gal during P5-6, but never really told her abt my feelings though... I've always been in kiddish quarrels (it's more like nicknaming another male classmate to be exact). Though we dun really haf any grudges or did anything unpleasant towards each other but started to nickname each other since then (like enemies even though it's not i wanted)... But it's fun during those times, nicknaming each other on the way home (even shouted nicknames across a long distance)... I even dun turn up for school after PSLE after i had a serious quarrel with him... Come to think of it, it's related to the gal i like... She's now in the same Poly as me, Yr1 (i think) after her 'A' lvls, i felt tat fate has been playing wif me... Separating us from P6 & Meet again in Poly, though still has some feelings but it's different now after such a long time...<br /><br />In secondary school, i began to realise tat I've developed some feelings towards the guy tat I've been nicknaming all those times... How ironic, only came to realise it after separation... Haiz... Nvm... In primary he's a bit plump, but now he's so cool, lean & thin while I'm still the same all these while... In secondary I've been more on the look out for guys rather than gals... But it's during sec3 tat i began to haf a much stronger feeling towards a guy from the council same age as me... Then i began to notice this guy more & more everyday... Began to be closer to him or look @ him more everyday... Even though, he might haf an average look (tat's wat my sis says). He's funny, funky & likes Jay Chou alot, sometimes even mimicking him (Probably tat's wat attracted me)... Now he gives me the feeling of avoidance, probably I've overdid somethings & he's found out something weird abt me... Anyway, it's another confused feeling tat i had...<br /><br />Now, I'm in between feelings for 2 person... 1 is someone close to me while the other I've only known after yr2... The one whose close to me's a very friendly, kind, brave & musical person. The other is someone who talks abt things straight in the face, likes to live in fantasy (hoping fantasy would turn out real one day), hoping for a perfect r/s, has gd vocal & quite trendy wear...<br /><br />For the one whose close to me, i dun haf the courage to come up to u to tell u my feelings. Cos I'm not a very gd looking person (not a 'shuai ge' in fact), I'm a quiet person who dun really do things tat r obvious & hope tat u wouldn't walk out on me if u happen to read tis... Even if u do, i still hope tat u would find ur ideal & perfect partner to b wif u by ur side throughout the next part of ur life...<br /><br />For the one whom i noe after yr2, perhaps u would haf guessed who tis other one is... I noe tat us being together is not possible after a conversation some time ago, but i hope u would not walk out on me though... Hope we can still be friends after u've read tis... U can pretend not to haf read tis & carry on wif our lives, so tat I wouldn't feel so bad in the end hafing no true friends left...<br /><br />Anyway, hope everyone finds their true love!!! U might say i'm sick, stupid, dumb, coward or watever... But wat i've written so far r my feelings now & some unknown facts... Tis might b the 1st, last & post tat's gonna b here... Continuous posts r under 'pending' & 'unknown' status... (T~^)<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7232115207985851807-812051950520768831?l=true-self-unknown-to-others.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>u noenoreply@blogger.com0